My personal essay, Measuring the True Cost of Infertility, came out on the parenting magazine Parent.co. Writing this piece took weeks. I wanted to make sure that I was as honest as I could be about my experience trying to conceive.
The reason I wrote Measuring the True Cost of Infertility was for other men and women who are currently experiencing this struggle to know that they are not alone. I wanted people to understand that infertility has many costs that are hard to qualify. Infertility affects you emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially.
Measuring the True Cost of Infertility excerpt: As a young adult, I lived in fear of pregnancy. In the small town where I’m from, enough girls became pregnant in high school that the saying “it’s in the water” wasn’t just a funny joke. Way before I became sexually active I knew having a baby young changed your life choices. I had ambitions. I wanted to go to college. I wanted to travel the world. I also believed I could have children later in life. My father had a friend who had a baby at 40. Her success left quite an impression on my twelve-year-old self. If she could do it, so could I.
My infertility journey began after a miscarriage in my late 30s. I took the loss hard but thought becoming pregnant again would be easy. When getting pregnant didn’t happen right away, I became obsessed. Each day that passed I became even more determined, yet alone. It seemed that everyone around me was darting down the path of parenthood without a glitch. When someone I knew became pregnant, I would casually ask how long it took to conceive. The answer was always, “we got pregnant on our first try.” These conversations made me feel as if I was the only one deficient, old, and barren. I remember interviewing for a promotion at work and not getting the job. The co-worker who got the promotion was pregnant. The heaviness of failure consumed me.
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